Shiver
by parfait-mess
Summary: After a war, not everyone is capable from recovering: a lot of damages were made during those days of fear. Things can be rebuilt, but can hearts do it either? When a mind is about to break and a soul is torn between good and evil, what can Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger do to save themselves from the worst war of all, a war for sanity?


**Hi there! Guess I'm back at it again? (: Missed me? Alright, I know you don't know who I am, and since you probably won't understand what I wrote on my profile, here comes the meet and greet (no? Alright...). Nice to meet you all! I hope you all like Shiver, just as much as I liked - loved, enjoyed etc etc - writing it! Please, excuse me for any mistake (: I'll be glad to correct it if you help me gently :D Oh, yeah! And I'll sure be REALLY happy to answer reviews, by the way! Hehehe**

**Well, good reading to you guys (: Ten pages to go! Good luck! Hahaha.**

**See you down there!~**

* * *

_and it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this..._

**.**

_Hermione – Australia, June 25th, 1998._

The tea steamed in her hands, its vapor gently stroking her face on deformed heat waves. Hermione's vacant look walked through the quiet neighborhood of that cozy yellow house, smiling when she saw two kids playing in the street, their laughter echoing to the small balcony where she was resting on a swing.

A sigh withdrew her from her thoughts and she turned her face to discover her mother's tired, yet vivid, gaze. She carried a small box in her hands and looked exactly at the kids who Hermione was watching before. Giving the daughter a gentle smile, the woman sat down beside her, putting the box in her lap.

"It's amazing these children liveliness, isn't it?" She asked, running her hands lightly at Hermione's hair. "Remember when you played exactly like this?"

The girl smiled sweetly, caressing the mother's other hand. However, the woman sighed - her eyes now were watching something way beyond the quiet australian street where she had been living since last July.

"Oh, dear... I can't even begin to imagine what you went through."

Hermione cringed in her seat, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation had taken. It had been two weeks since she got to Australia, but only ten days she had reunited with her parents in a small village at the south. They were walking beside the sea in an evening of early summer, their hands clasped and looking the young boy and girl Hermione used to see on pictures around their house in England. When they saw her, they smiled absentmindedly and walked past her. With her heart in her mouth, she turned to them and whispered the counterspell. Immediately, mother and father turned, their faces confused as they began to recognize that face before so familiar to them. Since then, she had been staying at the house they rented while in Australia. For what looked like, Richard and Helen Granger had no plans to return so soon to England, if not their daugher interrupted their long holidays.

Hermione's eyes teared up as she remembered the reason for being there, as well as the insinuation her mother had made to the war. When she hear a little sob coming from her side, Helen leaned over her daugher, giving Hermione the embrace she longed for a year. How many times did she want to just send everything to heel and run right back home, straight to her mother's arms? How many times did she cry in the middle of the night when she remembered there was no home and no mother who remembered her to run back to? That was the exact same thought that kept her on track looking for Horcruxes. She needed to find them if she wanted a home to come back to.

And there she was, a little over a month since the war had its end, her mother holding her tender, while she listened the sound of her father shuffling boxes inside the house. There the photographs were filled with Hermione's smiley face as soon as she reverted the spell. Now, they were ready to come back to England, to their house - their home.

But not everyone would return...

She hugged her mother's' waist tightly, thinking of all she had witnessed on those days of horror. Just over a month had passed, all was well since then, but she still had nightmares. Reliving all those deaths and all that suffering in her head.

Helen let out another tired sigh and kissed her daughter's head. She really couldn't imagine what Hermione had been through. And if she could, she would do anything to get those terrifying images out of Hermione's mind - hell, how she wished to be a witch to cast the same spell the girl used on her and her husband last summer! But she wasn't and so she had to live with it for the rest of her life - with the guilt of a mother who is unable to help her offspring.

"It's alright..." Hermione sniffed a while later, getting away from her mother's embrace and wiping her red eyes. "Everything's okay now, isn't it?"

Helen smiled, unable to deny her daughter's desperate words.

Yes, everything would be okay... Until it wasn't.

The sound of something breaking inside the house made them jump from their seats. A male 'oops!' soon revealed them who was the guilty for the whole mess as soon as Richard showed up on the balcony with two boxes filled with their belongings in his arms.

"Dad!" Hermione shouted annoyed. "Your spine!"

"Oh, dear... What would a man be without showing off all his strength to his family?" He laughed, placing the boxes with a loud thud on the other side of the balcony. He stretched his welcoming arms. "Now come here and give your old man a hug."

She didn't hesitate a second before launching herself into his arms, filling her lungs with that sweet scent her father had. Something with love, warmth, affection... _Everything she needs after all she's been through_, thought Helen.

A soft peep interrupted that moment. Looking at the railing, Hermione saw an owl hosted there with a letter stuck in its paw. Getting away from her father, she got close to the bird, lightly caressing its head as she noticed Hogwarts's emblem on the envelope. She gave both her parents an apologetic look and their simply nodded, retreating back home. She took the letter from the owl and watched as it left before sitting on the swing she had been before, her tea forgotten on the floor.

_Dear Miss Hermione Granger,_

_There is no easy way to begin writing this letter. In fact, there's been over a month I don't know how to start any letter. Writing to parents who lost their kids while they were under Hogwarts custody was one of the toughest tasks I have ever had to run in my life - if not the hardest. Face the fury, disappointment, sorrow and sadness that these same parents faced me some days ago wasn't easier either, but I had to endure it. I had to talk to them and ask their permission to do exactly what I am going to write you now._

_Many were the downs we had that May 2nd, 1998. As a way to honor those who have lost their lives in the now known as Battle of Hogwarts we decided to raise a monument with the names of the deceased that day in the grounds of Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It will be located just beside the grave of our late former Director, Albus Dumbledore, near the Black Lake._

_On July 2nd we will pay a tribute to every victim of the Battle at the time of twilight. I will await your answer, Miss Granger, but I would be very grateful with you showed up. I know you must be trying to enjoy your reunion with your parents and I am sorry for interrupting it with such a... delicate matter._

_Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts Director and member of the Post-War Hogwarts Restoration Commision._

Hermione sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. July 2nd... That was a week from now. Her parents moving was almost complete, but they would need her help to bring everything back to England.

However...

However she felt she needed to be there. On Hogwarts. She had been invited to join the Commission, but she would not rest until finding her parents, so she had to decline the offer. During the days that followed the end of the war, she and other students, teachers and volunteers helped remove all the bodies and rebuild at least the Great Hall, later used for a communal funeral of a good part of the students who died.

Fred Weasley was among them.

Hermione's throat tightened and she felt the tears gathering in her eyes. Damn, she thought. She wasn't that emotional before. But since the end of the war it was like she was a water fountain that never shut off.

"Another job offer?" Her mother's voice made she look up. She was with a hand on the switch, the light was on and Hermione hadn't even realized it. Hermione shook her head. "So, what is it? Another letter from Ron?"

Only the sound of that name made a smile emerge almost magically on her lips. Her heart skipped a beat and her face flushed. Helen giggled.

"No," Hermione said, folding the letter. "It's Director McGonaggal's. She... Invited me to an event in memory for… Everyone."

"Then you must go."

Hermione looked at her.

"But what about the moving?"

"Honey..." Helen sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and resting her head in her neck bend. "You want to be there, don't you? You feel you need to be there, right?" Timidly, the daughter agreed, "Then there's no reason not to go! Forget the moving. Your father and I can handle pretty good without you... And Richard also can't wait for a chance to show off all that strength of his, remember?"

Hermione laughed and hugged her mother once more, inhaling her hair's scent.

"Thank you, mom. And sorry for leaving you again."

"Leaving? Hermione, you never leave family! We can spend some time apart - even forget it for some reason - but we always, always get back together."

And Hermione wanted to believe it was true more than anything.

* * *

But the truth is another reality.

When Hermione arrived at Hogwarts on that July 2nd, the first thing she saw was Andromeda Tonks holding little Teddy Lupin in her lap. Teddy was less than a month old when his parents died at Hogwarts. It was more than clear to Hermione that he would never again meet his family.

With a lump in her throat and a tightness in her chest, she went to a small horde of red haired people. Ginny was the first to see her and soon was running in her direction, some tears flowing down her freckled cheeks.

"It's hard" She murmured, leaving her embrace. "Come back here where it all happened. Everything's the same, yet so different..."

Hermione glanced over her friend's shoulder, watching a high lone figure huddled a few meters away from the family. The knot in her heart rose again and she had to swallow the tears away.

It should be especially difficult to George to come back there.

But then a hand landed on her shoulder and she felt a mint, toothpaste and grass perfume. With a small smile on her face, she turned to find Ron's blue eyes. He captured her in a giant's hug, making her feet leave the ground. She felt her hair fumbling in her neck when he inhaled her scent as getting less tense. They hadn't seen each other for a month and the absence of one another was almost physically painful.

"Oh, Hermione..." He smiled, a sad one, atypical of Ronald Weasley. But she understood the situation and accepted that smile. Hermione just wanted to hug him, stroke his red hair and tell him everything would be okay and never let him go again. Just like her mother had made a few days ago. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back" to your arms, she thought as she hugged him tightly around the waist as they headed to the family of redheads just ahead.

The Weasleys greeted her with nods and light smiles, but again she could not ask them for more. All that tension, all those people reunited at Hogwarts gardens, all that was... bleak. Molly Weasley was clinging to Arthur's clothes, drowning in tears; from distance, she could see Harry having a little conversation with Andromeda and holding Teddy a little insecure in his arms; McGonagall was talking with some parents, her face seemed to have aged ten years in the past months. Several parents of people she once knew - or not - sheltered there, hugging each other, some praying and most crying.

When the sun began to set, the director came to the front of the crow in a small dais, her wand in her throat to raise magically her voice. The muggleborn's parents realised little frightened whispers when they heard the voice of that little lady vibrate throughout the school grounds.

"We now will begin this moment of tribute. Tribute to those who were looking for a common good, the greater good. For a world where a muggleborn would be no less than a pure blood. It's sad that several deaths had to happen for this to happen. To watch as young people die will never be a easy task... Believe me when I say that the pain you feel is my pain." McGonagall's eyes were brimming with emotion and her voice was shaky from restraining her cry. "These... These youngsters are the children I've never had the pleasure to have. Just like you, parents, siblings, friends, the pain I feel right now ur immeasurable. And I can't help feeling guilty. How to tell a father or mother that the child they brought me alive won't come back home?" She sobbed. "So, above all, I want to beg you my sincere apologies. Unfortunately, I can't bring back your children. But if there was a way, do not doubt it... I would not hesitate to do so."

Some parents applauded the director's words, others drowned even more into tears. Approximately three meters at her side, Hermione heard Mrs. Weasley sigh.

"Oh, Minerva..."

A minute of silence later, the director pointed her wand down to the floor. There a large structure began to rise, reaching ten feet tall when it stopped. It was white as marble, but its surface was mirrored so who was close was reflected by it. From distance, Hermione could notice some cracks along the monument, but soon she realized that those were the names of the victims of the Battle of Hogwarts, softly glowing in the descending sun light.

People got close to the great obelisk, conjuring flowers or resting the ones they brought in ther arms on the grass near the needle that rose to the sky, just like all those young souls that left too soon. She was pulled slightly by Ron, both getting near to the monument, and the redhead knelt down on the ground, allowing the tears to fall freely though his face. Hermione looked up, resting her hand on the obelisk, feeling a slight tingling as the names changed under her palm.

_Lavander Brown..._

_Fred Weasley..._

_Colin Creevey..._

_Nimphadora Tonks..._

_Remus Lupin..._

_Severus Snape..._

Hermione frowned when she saw the next name to show.

_Vincent Crabbe._

Glancing a brief look over her shoulder, she spotted McGonagall, who was watching her with an reluctant expression. So, she did know that would be her reaction to notice that name among many others. Now, Vincent Crabbe was a Death Eater! He tried to kill not only her, but Harry and Ron as well with his obnoxious Fiendfyre in the Room of Requirement. She snorted at the irony - a accidental suicide, wasn't it?

However, somehow she understood the director's decision to place the Slytherin's name there. He was, after all, a Hogwarts student who had died at the Battle. Hermione could almost hear the explanation McGonagall would give her: he just made the wrong choices, Hermione... Well, Tom Riddle also did, but that hadn't guaranteed a place for his name there, had it?

She sighed, stroking Ron's back. It wasn't time to be thinking about those kind of things... Their friends needed her. The people she considered her family needed all the support, care and nurturing as possible. So, Hermione helped Ron to get on his feet and both went to where his family was standing. Soon after, Harry joined them, running his fingers through his messy hair. Ginny hugged him, burying her face in his chest.

Harry sighed nothing less than exhausted.

"Hi there, Hermione..."

"How are you, Harry?"

It was a silly question, she was aware of it, and that was the reason why she was not offended when Harry didn't answer. He just stroked Ginny's red hair and looked up to the sky which had become darker now. Small silver sparkles began to sprinkle the sky and the crowd started to leave, McGonagall sending the muggle parents back off to Hogsmead station.

"Hermione, dear, how are your parents?" Mrs. Weasley asked, wiping her face of the tears.

"Very well, thank you. Thank God there was no sequel from the spell..." Hermione answered smiling softly to the woman who had been devastated by the death of a child.

"That's good...! Arthur, I think we've had enough for today... Come on, let's go home."

Ron turned to her, his freckled face red from crying. He watched as his parents escorted George up away from the monument, his chest tightening to see the deplorable state his brother stood since Fred's death.

"Do you have a place to stay, Hermione?" His voice was more like a whisper.

Hermione smiled, raising her hands to his face to make him look at her.

"Don't worry about me, Ron... My parents must arrive with the moving tomorrow by noon, so the house is all mine tonight." She got on her tiptoe and kissed him lightly, surprising herself when he pressed his arms around her waist as she was moving away.

"Can I stay with you tonight, Hermione? I... I don't want to go home. Not today."

A tear fell from her eyes, but she quickly shoved it off. She needed to be strong. Losing herself in his hug, Hermione agreed.

* * *

With her head resting on her palm, Hermione watched as the clock hands moved while the coffee steamed on the table. Ron was still sleeping on her room, wrapped up in layers of sheet, although it was midsummer. She felt a shiver run down her spine and sighed somewhat impatiently. _What the hell_, she thought, blushing as she lifted the cup to her lips, _what a silly..._

The truth was that Ron was covered up in layers of sheet, but with _no clothes_ underneath it. And that was tormenting her more than she wanted to admit. _Her best friend was sleeping naked on her bed._ What would her mother say if she say it? Hermione mentally thanked the fact that they would only arrive at 02:00 PM. She still had six hours to prepare herself psychologically for the meeting, pretending that nothing had changed. But nothing had, right?

Alright, of course it had... _Intimally_. But it wasn't something that would be noticed only by looking at someone's face, was it?

Hermione growled. Why did Hogwarts not have a class specifically to discuss sexual education?! And once more she blushed. _What the hell am I thinking?!_

She jumped in her seat when Ron rested a hand on her shoulder, placing a soft kiss on top of her head, now properly dressed. Sitting beside her, he smiled embarrassed with the situation.

"Hi there..." He muttered, rubbing his freckled neck.

Hermione smiled.

"Hey..."

"This is just so... Strange, isn't it?"

"To say the least." She sipped her coffee, trying to get rid of her nervousness. Her heart wanted to come out from her mouth.

Ron looked worried with her answer and frowned, tormented.

"But... You didn't regret it, right?"

"Ronald, of course not!" She was keen to stress it out, landing the cup with a sharp noise on the table. "I will _never _regret it. It was very special to me."

"Good," he smiled relieved. "For me too, Hermione. I will never forget this night, for the rest of my life."

And he leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips, while she smiled almost bursting with happiness.

* * *

It was almost the end of July when the letter arrived. Hermione was in the backyard laughing of her father's attempts to try to get a pot of fifty pounds to the other side of the garden. Her mother watched them from the kitchen while finishing the lunch and smiled as seeing the scene before her. It was good to have the family back together, without worries to stop them.

But she couldn't help to see the tension behind her daughter's eyes.

Something was tormenting her and Helen was almost sure of what.

Hermione rose her eyes to the skies and that was when she saw a small black point gradually coming closer to Granger's house. She sighed exhausted - certainly one more letter offering her a job; probably the job of her dreams, in an office at the Ministry as in many others letters, but she wasn't sure yet if she should accept any proposal. Something in her did not fit and asked her to have patience.

Some minutes later, the bird landed on the railing of the balcony. Hermione smiled to it and slightly took the letter out from its paw, watching the owl take some distance in the skies. She frowned and looked at the envelope in her hands, Hogwarts's emblem taking her attention.

_Dear Miss Hermione Granger,_

_It is with joy that the Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry, with support from the Ministry of Magic, decided to open a school conclusion program to the students who were unable to attend the seventh year of school properly at the school year 1997-1998. Thus, these students will study on the seventh year along with the current graduating class, last years sixth years._

_The House system and school schedules will be the already known by all; there will be no change in schedules of events and visits to Hogsmead will also remain the same. The list of books, for those who were absent during the past academic year, is attached to this latter._

_I ask you, if you are interested in finishing your studies at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to send me your answer as soon as possible to my office._

_Remembering the classes begin on September 1rst and that the Hogwarts Express leaves King's Cross station, platform 9 3/4, punctually at 11:00 AM on the same day._

_Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall, director of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

Hermione's first reaction was to run straight to the telephone - ot pheletone, as Ron used to say - to call the Weasley house and talk to her... boyfriend? Well, with him, whatever they were. She hadn't talked with the red headed guy for a few days now, but since that night the two constantly spoke with each other, either by phone or letter. Thus, after only two rings, she could hear the sound of his mismatched breath across the line - he was probably degnomizing the garden with Harry and the other Weasleys.

"Her... Hermione?" He gasped. "H-Hey!"

"Tell me that you received the letter too!" _It wasn't time for amenities_, thought Hermione, twisting a strand of her curls on one finger.

"Oh, yeah, the letter. Yup, Harry and I received it this morning."

A contagious smile immediately spread across her face and she had to hold a hysterical shriek of joy.

"Oh, Ronald! I'm so excited! This was exactly what I wanted...! Not graduating in Hogwarts just seems so wrong for me, you know? I feel like I have to be there this year! It will be so nice to have a year without worries, don't you think? We have to meet up to buy our books in Diagon Alley someday! Tell Ginny and Harry to come together so we can buy it all at once!"

"Er... Hermione, about this..."

Her smile faded a bit with the nervous tone on Ron's voice. Meanwhile, he ran his fingers past his sweaty hair on his side of the line. How could he tell her...?

"Harry and I were talking the other day... On the possibility of coming back to Hogwarts, I mean... And he and I both agreed that it's better not to return to school." He gulped when he heard the silence on the other side. "Harry was offered a really good job offer as auror in the Department of Mysteries and I want to help George out with the shop, at least for now. Maybe til the end of the year... Then I will decide what to do, since I also received some letters..."

Hermione couldn't believe her ears. Hogwarts, without Ron and Harry? She wasn't able to imagine it. Walking through the halls in which they stood all those years - _alone_? This seemed totally wrong, disconnected. Just like Ron's voice at that moment.

She sighed, trying to calm the raced beats of her heart down.

"All right, Ron... I get it, really."

His eyes widened open with her understanding. Hermione Granger was agreeing with the fact that he and Harry were _quitting_ school?! This meant not earning a degree, something that she prized above all... _What the hell?!_

"Hermione... Are you sure you're okay?"

"I am, Ron. Anyway, Ginny will be there, won't she? And probably Neville will come back too and Luna as well. I..." She let out her breath she did not notice she was holding. "I will be okay."

"I'm sorry, Hermione..." Ron ran his hands through his hair nervously again, making his face a shade redder as he spoke. "I just... I feel that's what I gotta do, you know?" A tear streamed down her face; _yes_, she understood it _completely._

"No problem, Ron. It's not like I'm glued to you and Harry, anyway." The laughter she gave wasn't without irony, however. There was a reason why people called them the Hogwarts Golden Trio. A trio was always together, united, like they had always been. But Hermione didn't notice Ron's pained gasp on the other side of the line. "Ron, I... I've got to go now. Tell Ginny to owl me when she wants to go to Diagon Alley."

"R-Right..." He pulled himself together... Almost. "I'll... I'll talk to her."

"See you."

And then she hung up, knowing she had just hurt her best friend in a way she never did before.

* * *

_Song: Hurt, by Miss Christina Aguilera._

**No, you didn't get it wrong: this is, in fact, a Dramione fanfic. So, please, don't give up on it! I promise you Draco will make his apperance next chapter (; Uhm... I'm wondering if you'll like it! Anyway, the chapter is ready... In my first language, which ~obviously~ is not English. So all that's left for me is to translate it all... sigh. So, I'll just wait for your feedback! Hope you liked it (:**

**Oh, yeah! In case you have noticed and got confused with it... Shiver is taken past Hogwarts Battle (you don't say, Reky!), but in this fanfic we'll have a mix between movie and books universe (as you could see, Lavander died). And if you got tired from reading ten pages, don't worry!, chapter two will be waaaaay shorter!**

**Want a little sneek peek on what's coming?**

_"They want me dead," he muttered, carressing his mother's skin. "Why don't they kill me already?"_

_"You're overreacting, Draco. They don't want you dead. Only... _Rehabilitated _to the wizarding world."_

_"I thought prison was a kind of rehabilitation. School has always been a torture, but now they're taking it literally."_

**See you soon! And reviews are always welcomed and replied! :D**


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